I met this guy on the singles site and began to chit-chat him. And soon we were calling each other. He seemed serious. My adrenaline shot up. My oestrogen too was worked up. So we agreed to meet. But all the while, something, my intuition kept screaming loudly at me, "NO, stop it!" I could hear none of that.
For coffee? Never mind. Just know we met, but that is as far as the story goes, because that was the end of it. The culprit? I'am not sure. Blame it on a few things
The Inner Voice
Guts never lie, so they say. This is very true, especially in relationships and dating. Every time you are up and about in relationship, or on a date, listen to your inner voice. What are you feeling inside? Do you feel at peace with this guy or not? Do you feel scared or afraid of what you can't explain? Call it quits before you go far. That is what happened to me. I was gripped with an inner fear, and yes, I was right. A woman walked right to where we were in a coffee shop and accused me of snatching his 'husband'.
Be Confident and Bold
Never act desperate. Be confident and bold. Speak up your mind boldly. Don't allow intimidation. I didn't. I looked straight in his eyes and said, "Thanks for coffee, but it is all over. I didn't know you were married. Bye, for good." This takes guts, but it is very necessary. Humanly speaking, it hurt on the inside, but I thank God I did it.
My style may not have been the beat approach. Probably I should have been more kind and more understanding, given that a divorce was imminent after the encounter. But truth be told, circumstances took the better of me.
The Ideal Situation
I advocate for courtesy and goodwill. If you aren't interested in seeing the guy again, find a better way of how to stop it. Be humane. Show gratitude. Let him know that you appreciate his interest in you. Be kind and respectful to him, regardless of your experience on your first date with him.
He may have been quite dull and boring. Or, he may never really be the guy in the profile picture, whatever the case, be careful to show maturity and give him the benefit of doubt.
The worst you can do is to give false hope. Don't pretend you are into the game when you aren't. Don't indicate that you enjoyed it and you look forward to the next date, when you don't. False hope can be a trap for you. Avoid it.
In a Nutshell
A relationship ended sooner hurts less than much later. Raise your antennae high and pick every signal as they come. Be very decisive and proactively, yet wisely and kindly act for your heart.